Monday, 9 January 2017

Bit of a shocker..

So on the whole I've not been completely honest with you all! Todays blog is brought to you by the power of alcohol and chocolate..

All my nearest and dearest know that on the 2nd of December we got more information that I let on. It's taken time to get our heads around this and certainly knowing where to start with certain things!

On 2nd December I was told that my persistent cough is actually secondary  cancer in my lungs and liver,

All the staging tests (MRI's and CT's along with bone scans) were redone the same as last year and on the 13th December the news ramped up again and it was indicated to me that time is going to be very precious with my beautiful family and friends,

All the results are in that matter now and my care is long term.. again not a concept to want to deal with 12 days before Christmas. We kept the whole picture quiet from the boys until after Christmas so that we could all make the most of the family time, and we certainly had a wonderful relaxing one catching up with so many special people over the festive period it was really magical.

Cancer has once again given me quite some insomnia so I've been up in the middle of the night, organising and planning, tidying and doing all the things you never round to doing!

As a bit of a spoilt brat and diva this doesn't sit well with me as I just want more.. More hugs, More time, More everything!

I continue to be blessed with having amazing people caring for me and the boys, thank you!
We are also being supported by Rennie Grove Hospice who have already been to see us and will continue to look after me and us as a family.

Over time Adam will need cookery and ironing lessons and a bit of help learning to be a domestic god! (He's been a bit spoilt it's fair to say!) So I trust you my friends to keep an eye on my beautiful boys.

My Chemo this time round is Gem-Carbo which is being much kinder to me on side effects so far and the aim is to keep me as well as possible for as long as possible. A concept that just seems fairly odd at the moment because I DO feel mostly well. I am on daily steroids to control my cough and backpain. if I get in a kitchen cupboard I struggle to get off the floor which is doing my head in, as is going up the stairs as it is more effort than I think is acceptable!

So you may have seen I made bears with the boys at the weekend, It was about making memories with them and each of the bears has some of my hair inside so that they are all linked and unique.
For Luke especially I think that has been a big part in understanding some of what is happening as Jake is much more aware of what we have told them and what it means down the line.. the hardest conversation I have ever had to have for sure!

So our aim is to try do as many nice things as possible to really create lasting memories together while I am feeling fit and well.. so if you have suggestions let me know.. I need to hear them! 


  1. Oh Lisa! When I read about your new round of treatment, I certainly did not expect that things had got so dramatically worse. I wish we were closer to be able to offer some practical help as comforting words just don't seem enough. But that is all I can offer for now. Take good care of yourself and do make sure Adam keeps up with his domestic God apprenticeship: I am sure he will do very well! My thoughts are with you all, and in the unlikely event we can be of assistance from distant Berkshire, do give us a shout. Much much love, Emmanuelle xxx

  2. Lisa I have no words but a suggestion I saw from a mum who had a daughter at my age (45). She said for her daughters 1st birthday instrsd of presents she requested all her relatives to write a letter to her for her 18th birthday and put it in a time capsule. When her daughter opened it on her 18th she said it was the best present that she ever had. I might do this for my daughter. I don't know how old your boys are but maybe you could get all your relatives to do the same for your boys for milestone birthdays and do one from you too?? Sending love and prayers lovely lady. Xxx

  3. Your strength shines through my little Aziz.
    You are one hell of a Woman. See you very soon, all my love as always.