Stage 2 - done.. Onwards

Ok, so almost 6 weeks post surgery I still have to be aware of the danger zone but healing has gone well. 

The danger zone is so important as a fiercely independent person who doesn't like asking for help.. But I don't want to undo all that being good has done so I must be good.. For me things in the danger zone are lifting heavy things, emptying the kitchen bin (it's always heavier than I think!) and pushing a heavy shopping trolley. 

However since my drains have come out 4 weeks ago I've managed to get to Pilates twice a week, and started to get back to the gym. And last week after a new sports bra investment I had my 1st little run back. Not far, or fast but I did it! And it's the aim to keep doing it again now.. Although I have no idea how my skin will be once radiotherapy begins, so I do still have to play it by ear a little and not get too frustrated if I have to pause while that part of my treatment is done. 

My hair continues to grow, (even the bits I was enjoying not having 😂). 

So on to Radiotherapy - I need to have 3 weeks worth, at Mount Vernon every day Monday-Friday.. At the moment I still, don't have a start date for it but should find that out tomorrow when I have my planning appointment where they do the CT imaging to 'design' my treatment. From what I understand the planning involves a CT scan and some tiny tattoos and a template being created of where they are going to zap me... Then when I arrive for my daily zapping I guess I get my kit off, get in position, they plug in my details and the computer knows all the settings for each zapping! 

In the meantime though I've been busy catching up with people and generally enjoying all the social stuff.. Take That were amazing!

A birthday treat for Jo with my mum yesterday which has been great, into London to see the musical Beautiful. So many awesome tunes and a lovely grown up day out. 

I also got into London for grown up catch up time with my Hayley.. I think the first time in 9 years we've  got together without the kids.. So super precious time that wasn't full of interruptions of "Can I have a Drink?" "I need a wee!" "I'm hungry" etc we had a lovely meal and a perfect summer evening. We love all 5 of the kids dearly but it really was a special evening and knowing we had seen all 5 kids together 5 weeks earlier helped us feel guilt free about being together without them. 

We've also had several impromptu summer gatherings starting with someone saying 'We're at the pub with the kids..' Just relaxed and what the summer is made for! 

The fun continues over the next few weeks as we've got leavers assembly on Friday pm at school.. emotions will be high for that one I'm sure as it really sums up with a bonkers school year it has been for my family.. And I never imagined my boys would be leaving the school this year.. But a fresh start for September is exciting.

Friday pm - after school picnic followed by DRR friendship mile.. A bit of running, then post run chat and cake with the family all for charity!

Saturday Anniversary games at the Olympic Park. 

Then the following Saturday is our family Willow Special day at the Lion King.. Our tickets are being sent out tomorrow. Followed by birthday celebrations on the Sunday with lots of my most special people! 

And on the subject of Willow.. I have just booked the Willow 10k for the 2nd October if anyone wants to join me it would be great to get a few people running either 5k or 10k for a great charity. You can find more info https://www.willowfoundation.org.uk/willow10k

In the meantime, bring on the summer holidays.. We're ready now! 

Rounding up stage 2

Well, the surgery phase is nearly complete.. And I'm still feeling better than I expected to and taking it all in my stride! 

Surgery was 3 weeks ago and in that time I've ticked off lots of milestones in stage 2 recovery process. 

✅ had mastectomy on my left hand side with immediate reconstruction

✅ got to know 'Cilla' my Silicon/saline combo boob.

✅ celebrated the freedom of having my drains removed.. 

✅ celebrated freedom from waiting for Doris 

✅ Got back driving again after 2.5 weeks

✅ got back to Pilates after 2 weeks 

✅Hitting the gym again within 3 weeks

✅ avoided (and keep avoiding) the danger zone.. Those jobs that are a bit tricky, involving stretching too far or lifting too heavy! 

The last parts of phase 2 recovery are getting some Saline into 'Cilla' which all being well will happen on Wednesday, I then just need to have the port that they use to pump her up removed and surgery phase will be complete. 

Next week I meet my Oncologist regarding Phase 3 of recovery which is Radiotherapy. Each stage has brought it's own frustrations and worries.. But I'm glad this one should mark the end of my treatment. 

When I received my lab results they showed all the lymph nodes were clear which was fantastic and a big relief.

Obviously I continue with the Physio to ensure I get the full range of movement back in my arm but at the moment that is improving daily.

As a family we enjoyed Adam's work summer weekend last week. It was great seeing the boys involved in the activities and enjoying Pimms on the lawn.. And it was only on reflection that I realised how nice it was to have a coating of hair to meet new people. And see a couple that I hadn't seen since the day I was diagnosed! 

One of the ladies asked me about my running and how I had done through my treatment. I said that since it began it's been disheartening seeing where I was and where I have got to pick up from but that the return is hopefully now sniffing distance away.. One of the biggest smiles though was when she told me that after we spoke at the Christmas do I had inspired her to get out and run.. And that this week she was tackling a 10k route for the 1st time. 😊👏🏻 

I'm loving getting back to some excercise, slowly but surely I'll make progress back to doing what I was enjoying so much before all this kicked off! 

So at the moment during July I'm looking forward to

* seeing take that next weekend

* trip to see Beautiful the musical with Jo for her birthday.

* catching up with Hayley in London

* the boys end of term activities

* the start of the summer holidays

* Our family trip to see the Lion King thanks to the Willow foundation. 

* My birthday!!

As usual it's going to be a busy few weeks.. Bring it on!!

50th Parkrun and surgery looms!

So last Saturday I completed my 50th parkrun, and my last for a little while as surgery looms tomorrow, a great morning with plenty of parkrun cake afterwards. It took some coordination to have Jake, Ash and I all do our 50th on the same day, but well worth it!

I claimed hugs and well wishes a plenty of lots of friends, and it was lovely to catch up with an old work friend from before I had the boys who came down from Northampton for a special run in the park. The boys and I looked great in our personalised tops from Kate and all in all it was a fantastic morning.

Half term also saw Luke turn 5, my baby boy is getting 'lines' not he's old.. Bless his heart! As daddy was away for the day it's self we celebrated with a birthday cinema trip on bank holiday Monday, and then the boys and I headed to visit family and celebrate in Stafford with Nana and Pops. 

Then with the boys back at school on Monday I set about doing the final prep for surgery. The house is as sorted as possible, the fridge is stocked and I'm ready to face the next big bit of the process. 

So I head to the hospital for 11 tomorrow morning ready for surgery In the afternoon. I'm having a mastectomy and Lymph node clearance on my left hand side, with implant reconstruction, and should be in for between 1-3 days.. Obviously I'm hoping to be out and recovering at home with my boys as soon as possible but will just have to wait and see. 

That's to all of you who have messaged and offered help with the boys. I'm sure Adam will post an update when he can, and will take up some of your kind offers as and when we need to, as I'm sure over the next few weeks there will be appointments where we need to be in 2 places at once.. Or just a little rest time. As always your support is fantastic and has been a huge help in seeing the through the next bit! 

So anyway, as I have to be up at stupid o'clock if I want some breakfast in the morning I really should get to sleep! 

Decisions!

So Chemo is done, the picc line came out... (Eventually after a trip to Hillingdon!) 

I realised yesterday while talking to a friend about all that has happened since Chemo started makes it all seem like a lifetime ago already, where as it was actually just two weeks since the last one and 4 months ago chemo began! 

-In that time we've had the fireplace knocked out 

-Decorated the living room

-Had new carpets and sofa

-Visited my bestie in Scotland (Jake went to Eurodisney) 

-Bestie's baby has arrived! (As has another friends baby this week) 

-Lost hair, eyebrows and eye lashes.. But they are starting to come back now. 

-Discovered what amazing friends I have with me through thick and thin, especially Jo, who has wiped my tears, shaved my head and sat with me on the chemo unit 💗 and my drinking buddies who obligingly down tools to drink wine whenever needed. 

-Enjoyed play dates with my mum which has despite the naff situation forced us to embrace the miles on the motorway and the train and spend lots of great time together, (even if we are a bad influence on each other😘)

So chapter 2 is nearly ready to start and the seeds have started to be sown. Last week I had my mammogram and ultrasound, along with a meeting with the surgeon to discuss my options on Friday.

Sadly although the images looked good and show a marked improvement on the size on my lump they advised that they could operate and try to conserve my own boob but if it's not successful I will have to go back in for a full mastectomy with implant reconstruction. This news really just left me with 2 choices regarding the type of reconstruction I have as I want to get from where I am now to being fixed in the quickest possible route.. I don't want to mess about trying this and ending up with multiple surgeries and more time in hospital away from my lovely boys. 

So I have now made the decision to have a mastectomy with implant reconstruction on the 9th June. 

This is a few weeks later than the dates I had mapped out in my head sadly, so I now will definitely still be having treatment when it's my birthday and also having radiotherapy at Mount Vernon through the summer holidays which I was hoping to avoid. 

I've seen pictures of how my new boob could look, talked through what my surgery will entail and how long I am likely to be in, and take to recover etc.. So really just want to crack on with it again now, but am back in limbo until I go in now. Aside from some complementary therapy sessions and my pre op assessment I now have the next month without having to have treatment. So my focus is about trying to get a little bit stronger again before surgery, and hopefully enjoying higher energy levels and the start of the summer weather, today however we have rain.. But at least I don't look like a drowned rat!

Last week it was lovely to enjoy a picnic tea at the downs, parkrun volunteering in the sun, the first BBQ of the year, and a lovely day at shuttleworth airshow.. Over the next month I'll certainly drink tea anywhere that isn't my house as I'll be seeing lots of those walls (or hopefully the garden)  during the time I can't drive 😂

Surgery will be on the 9th June. Just want to get there now and get done so I'll be a step nearer to being fixed! 

The charity links!

I hadn't planned to blog again after the Picc line saga until the end of this week when I'll know more about what surgery will be etc and time frames, however once more I'm inspired and blown away by support again. 

It was a tough week finishing Chemo, but not being able to get the picc line out, after 4 days and 2 hospitals with 3 different friends at my side.. The line finally came out on Thursday meaning I didn't have to go to hospital on Friday 😊

By Thursday evening we were able to pop to the village pub for tea to celebrate phase 1 of treatment finally being over! Now I just have 3 more injections to give myself to boost my immunity, and then I'm  medicine free until surgery👍🏻

The things I have to look forward to over the next few weeks are regaining my taste buds (looking forward to that wine ladies!), less nose bleeds, loosing the bruised feeling inside my mouth, getting past the aches I've had each cycle and getting phase 2 of treatment mapped out along with booking our willow special family day! 

As I'm under 40 having a life changing illness I applied to Willow for a special day.. They are a lovely (local charity) https://www.willowfoundation.org.uk/ and specialise in giving people in my situation a day/weekend to really look forward to! I decided as a family it would be great to do a London show and dinner with the boys, a treat I had always wanted them to be old enough to enjoy, and something they've not done before!  

Willow also host a 10k race in October in Welwyn Garden City so if anyone fancies the challenge it'd be great to see you there. Once the rest of my treatment plan is confirmed I am hoping to enter and get my boys involved in the event too. 

Yesterday we were up and out of the house ready for parkrun where I was tail running,  a way of getting me one step closer to my 50th parkrun without feeling the pressure of times 👍🏻.

Running during Chemo has been tough because my heart rate rockets up just walking up stairs at the moment, and with so many out of control side effects it makes it hard to know where to stop pushing yourself and listen to your body. 

It was also the plan to be there for Nikki's headshave and cake sale raising money for Macmillan https://www.justgiving.com/Nikki-Cox1 

Nikki asked me about 6 weeks ago if I would mind her shaving her head at parkrun.. 'Why would I? great idea, when are we doing it!?' I think was my response.. We got out heads together and looked at dates and knowing my last Chemo was on Monday said how fitting it would be to do it the Saturday after that.. Magically the dates all worked out and Ben the 401 marathon challenge guy was also with us at parkrun and took the honour of doing the shave, made even more special it's a cause close to Ben's heart too! 

And what an lovely and awesome chap he is, completing 401 marathons raising money and just as importantly awareness for anti bullying charities. http://www.the401challenge.co.uk/ 

The Langford gang were invited to join the lunch stop curtesy of Amanda and Malcolm, and we're delighted to take up the invite as we had no plans for the day👍🏻

Amanda also convinced me to join the gang for the 1st Mile of post lunch running... 

We had a blast yesterday, and most of the day cropped up completely unexpected! 

Tomorrow Adam and I are looking forward to marshalling at MK MARATHON,  cheering friends around the course once more, and I will be entering the ballot for that little race in London next spring! 

So that's me done until surgery plans have been made! 

Mission chemo nearly complete... ish!

So this morning I set off after the school run to get a balloon to celebrate my last chemo, collected my last chemo rainbow cake I had made for the unit, and headed off with Jo for my 11 am session. 

Chemo went quickly and smoothly and I was chatting to two new ladies who were having their 1st session today, telling them that aside from my 1st chemo it had all gone pretty smoothly.. Luckily they had both gone home by the time my picc line removal saga began! 

So Jo and I completed our chemo selfies (with Jo swapping sides for the last one!)

So the picc line, was put in on the 11th January at the start of my chemo, it's been used to delivery my chemo drugs, take bloods, and has required a weekly dressing change, I was so looking forward to getting rid of it as it's not the most fashionable accessory.. But has been a useful one for the last few months. 

So this morning I was delighted thinking I could get in the shower without having to use the special cover to make keep the picc line dry. 

Taking the picc line out is meant to be quick and easy, lie on the bed, undo the orange clip thing and pull out the 45cm of thin tube, however after getting most of it out.. The last 5cm and clips did not want to budge, another nurse was called.. Local anethestic, and more tugging, and the vascular specialist nurses where called.. 2 of them! More local anethestic and tugging got the clip things out but the rest of the tube was not moving.. Hot pads kept being applied to try to make the vein more agreeable.. Google was even consulted for ideas.. So after 1h 45 mins they sent me home with a knot in the tube still attached so it can't go anywhere.. And got to go back tomorrow morning to try again😳😳

I'm delighted to be over the chemo, but frustrated to not be rid of the line! 

Yesterday though was a fantastic day celebrating achievement of friends at London Marathon.. Seeing the boost that the cheering delivered was great. Absolutely awesome and the kick up the backside I need to start getting my fitness back on track, and actually can't wait to get control of my body back again! 

Roll on the end of next week when surgery decisions are made and dates set for phase 2 to get under way. 

Blood, sweat and tears..

I knew and everyone around me knew that last weekend was going to be tough for me.. It was going to be my first marathon which I booked a year ago! I was gutted when I was diagnosed that my big plan and achievement for this year was being taken away from me.. 

I won't lie I am jealous of all the wonderful achievements my running friends did in Brighton, the medals and the times.. But I have coped better than I expected.. I had some tears Thursday night and Friday morning, but feeling more in control again on Saturday we went to Brighton for Jake to do his mini mile which he smashed!! He must have been running for me as he stormed round the course in 7:15 knocking 44 seconds off his time from last year. When both Adam and I saw him he was struggling to pass other boys so with a bit more confidence to start further up the front he could have been quicker i'm sure! 

So anyway, moving onto the positive news, I had my last blood test this morning for Chemo on Monday and my PICC line will be removed, so no more having to consider what I wear on treatment and nurse days, no more dressing changes, and no more having to cover my arm when I get in the shower!  I also saw the oncologist today and my lump wasn't measured as it is now less than 1cm so has had a great response to treatment. 

I also now have my next big dates confirmed for the next stage of treatment which will be my ultrasound and mammogram on 5th May, and meeting with my surgeon on 6th May to confirm my date for surgery and what exactly that is likely to be! 

London marathon is this Sunday  and we're looking forward to cheering on friends on tower bridge. This is the weekend that became my revised target when I was told my marathon was off for this year.. It was my hope that if I could stay well and have a smooth ride through Chemo that I would tie in finishing Chemo with VLM,  so after much blood (pre chemo tests), sweat (terrible night sweats!) and tears we're here and want to just get over that line to finish stage 1 of treatment. 

Oh yeah.. And I must remember to keep applying the sun cream to my folically challenged head😚